My nearest swimming pool is very near indeed, Kallio sports hall is located at the end of my road - in terms of a brisk walk we're talking 90 seconds or so to get there from my front door.Since the weather doesn't really lend itself to any extended visits to the beach (it's sunny but the temperature is 5 degrees celcius below average), I thought I'd settle for a swim indoors. To some of my colleagues from university none of this will come as a surprise, we recently had a peculiar conversation about Finnish public swimming pool code of conduct. I acted the expert on the matter, comfortably sipping beer in Sandbar, no one to challenge my position. Put me in the real context, and I really felt like an alien.
The first "alien thing" was the entry system, I was given a card at the front desk after paying, which got me through the barrier and also worked in the dressing room locker to release the key instead of a coin, so far so good. Entry into the female dressing room was a shock though. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes parading around naked, immediately visible from the door (the corridor is a public space for all sexes). Oddly, in front of me entering the dressing room was a mother with a boy of I'd say 7 or 8 years of age. OK, he's only a child, but still. Children of about that age in England possess ASBOs and have been done for assaults of all kinds.
The shower room wasn't as much of a shock anymore, more naked people having a wash - after a while you don't actually feel self-conscious anymore, there's that much bare skin around that you do actually blend in quite nicely. Oh, for the benefit of those who never visited Finnish swimming pools, there are separate dressing- , showering- and sauna facilities for men and women.
After a thorough shower (this really must be done scrupulously and without your swimwear, nothing else will do!) I slipped into my swimwear and entered the pool area. Hmm. Strange lanes, some marked for "vesijuoksu" ["water running"] - but the "runners" really moved very slowly, they seemed to be walking in water, rather. It looked very, very strange, plus the water is very deep in the deep end so what was going on there, I haven't a clue.
In I dived and bloody hell the water felt freezing at first! But that was a minor inconvenience, soon forgotten about in light of the much more acute predicament I found myself in. I last wore this swimming costume in Finland last August, and whilst it always felt a little roomy, not one of those desperately tight-fitting ones, I do remember when swimming in a strong cross-current caused by the nearby waterfalls and the hydralic turbines from a power plant in Verla, the costume still more or less stayed on despite the challenging conditions. Today, however, the costume seems to have lost all its elasticity and the already generously cut neckline didn't go very far in terms of keeping my boobs in situ. The natural boyancy of the breast tissue combined with very, very ill performing swimwear gives a whole new meaning to the term "breaststroke".
Undeterred, I continued with the breaststroke having to keep pulling up my useless swimwear every 5-6 strokes, or so, hoping that the slowly moving "water walkers" in the next lane take no interest in the swimmers. I managed half an hour, after which it was time for my reward: the sauna! Entering the sauna there were two ladies there, and I felt the urge to make small talk, but I managed to suppress this instinct, although in my mind I had aldready thought of one or two things to say to "break the ice". I would have disturbed these two women's peace unforgivably had I done that - ice is good in Finland, don't touch it! Oddly, when visiting the Grand Central in Stockport, I sit there in the sauna in silence and feel really annoyed when some chatterbox comes in and gives me no peace. This in-betweenness is a funny thing to go through.
The second indecent exposure of my visit to the local pool came at the very end, a different sort of exposure though, one facilitated with my new camera and the evidence is presented below. I was compelled to do this because of the recent conversation in Sandbar alluded to earlier, and the incredulity the "no swimwear policy" was then met with, so, risking a lifetime ban from Kallio swimming pool and the confiscation of my new toy, I continued with my mission.
I had to smuggle the camera into the shower room in order to take a shot of the sign banning swimwear from the sauna. Thankfully it was close to 8 pm (closing time) so it wasn't that busy, otherwise I'd have no chance to catch this exposure without being done for indecency. There are naked people around, including children, so I felt dodgy indeed sneaking around with a camera inside my bath towel! Anyway, here it is, the evidence from Kallio swimming pool! Thankfully, I got away with it (as well as the other indecent exposure in the pool earlier).(Note to self: must buy a new swimming costume before heading off to the beach when the weather finally warms up.)
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